It Ought Not’ve Happened That Way

I was going to write an entry featuring the top ten most popular Basement Life posts of 2009. But considering Basement Life only has six posts to speak of so far, I was a afraid that I’d be caught a few candidates short.

Then I thought, why not just fabricate a few entries to make it seem like Basement Life has been around since December 1999. I had some good ideas, too. There was going to be one where Jacquie and I went out to Rangitoto, the volcano in the harbor that’s now a park with hiking trails and park rangers. Rangitoto used to be overrun with various invasive species. Then the government cracked down and shipped all the destructive buggers to Australia, which never turns away an invasive species if it can help it.

My entry was going to begin in the Fuller Ferry terminal where we saw a sign that read, “Following pest eradication on Rangitoto Island and Motutapu, please help to ensure the islands stay pest free. Check your bags and shoes for seeds, dirt, insects, mice and rats before traveling to the islands.” Jacquie couldn’t believe the new restrictions. She never travels anywhere without a mouse or a rat in her shoe. When she complained to the ferryman, he just folded his arms and shook his head.

“Ma’am,” he said. “Like the sign says, please remove all rodents from your bags and shoes.”

“Fascists!” Jacquie screamed. But seeing that people were staring at her, she ultimately emptied her shoes of several mice and rats and we were able to board the ferry and visit Rangitoto where we had a wonderful time.

So, that was the caliber of material I wanted to doctor in order to give the impression that this blog has been around forever. But in order to come up with a decade’s worth of material, I calculated that I would have needed at least ten years to create the material. That was time I just did not have to spare.

So I started writing a song. And I’d like to share it with you. It’s kind of an anthem to the last ten years, the good old Oughts.  The song is really terrible and the recording is even worse. So if you listen to it and you don’t like it, take heart this New Years that things can only get better once you turn off the music.

Unfortunately, I can’t upload mp3 files yet because I’m too cheap to pay for the privilege. So if you’re curious please follow the link (it takes a few seconds to download) and now without further ado, Broken Caravan, an anthem to the oughts.

Good night everybody and happy new year


  1. Australia might be known as down under, but people sometimes call New Zealand that too, and because of that, they are in a very close competition for that title. It’s a race to the bottom, frankly.

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