The city of fun and attractions

I realized the other day that I haven’t been “adding value” to my posts the way I used to do.

There’s a good reason. I mean beside from my usual contempt for people who come to my site.

It’s nothing to worry about. Just a mild case of crippling depression.

But I won’t go on about that right now. I’m saving it for sweeps week.

Instead, please look at some more bland photographs of places to go and things to see around Auckland.

The Pah Homestead in Monte Cecilia park used to be a school and home for orphans and other discarded children. Now it's the home of the lyrically named TSB Bank Wallace Arts Centre, a quite enjoyable collection of contemporary New Zealand art.

I took this picture the last time we visited the Pah Homestead. I intended to write the name of the artist. But before I could, I was tackled from behind and violently thrown to the floor. “Jacquie,” I said, “what the hell are you doing?” “Sorry,” she said, “I thought you were somebody else.”

Jacquie stopped acting so tough when we strolled among Monte Cecilia's massive oak, magnolias, pines, cypress and other native and imported trees.

"Jacquie," I said. "You are no match for these trees. You may be able to do terrible things to me but these trees are not so easily pushed around. Try and you will see." "Simon," Jacquie said. "You are a fool. I will bring these trees to heel shortly. Their bark is worse than their bite." "Jacquie," I said. "We have descended to a new low in both our conversation and our online content. Let us end this now." Then Jacquie hit me in the back of the head with a shovel. Then I woke up in my bed. "Oh, it was just a dream all along," I said. Then Jacquie hit me over the head with a mallet. "That's for ending this in a cheap cliche," she said.

Three Lamps Plaza. The building was erected in 1910 as a roller rink and later became the Britannia Movie Theatre, which closed in 1969. Today it houses a number of businesses, including a roller rink and a movie theatre. Except the roller rink is now a brothel (roller-skates optional) and the movie house shows 1970s German porn in a continuous loop.

This is an ad for a New Zealand television network that launched in February. With its fourth network up and running, New Zealand now offers one television channel for every household in the country.

A house on Ponsonby Road. Ponsonby is a trendy neighborhood where one-bedroom houses can sell for $600,000 to $700,000. Larger properties go for more than a million. I'm not sure if this makes Ponsonby one of the priciest areas in Auckland, but you can certainly see why that would be if it were so.

The trompe l'oeil painting on this fence in Ponsonby gives the convincing illusion of a poorly painted fence. But the important thing is everyone had fun.

Soho Square off Ponsonby Road in Grey Lynn. According to Wikipedia, this was the site of a yeast production plant in 1910. By the looks of things, it still could very well be a yeast production plant, among other things. In fact, it's a good thing this is here because there is a terrible shortage of mosquitoes in New Zealand.

The D-72 on Dominion Road. It's difficult to take a photograph of a wicker office building while driving your car into a bunch of people trying to enjoy their dinner at a sidewalk cafe. But I managed to do it. Only kidding. They weren't enjoying their dinners. It's not the loveliest building you'll see in New Zealand but when you pass it you can't avert your eyes.