An Otis employee  was tooling up and down the street in a forklift this afternoon.

There weren’t any delivery trucks at the freight bay of the single-story NZ headquarters for the supposed elevator manufacturer.

So what was this guy doing in the forklift? He was just having fun.

Who knew work could be so awesome?

At one point, he drove by, saw me and honked.

“I shouldn’t even be driving this,” he screamed. “I don’t even have a forklift license.”

Which I guess was a problem, but not as immediate a concern as him driving against traffic on a one way street.

I was left wondering why I couldn’t have a forklift for my new job? Back when I used to work in an office, more than two weeks ago, this was exactly the kind of thing that could get you fired.

If you were spotted driving a forklift to work, and you didn’t have a license, that was pretty much the only excuse they needed to fire you on the spot.

But every once in a while, some clown had to test the boundaries. The last guy had a giant scissors lift. He did donuts in the car park, and then, without anyone’s permission, he started washing then second floor windows.

Predictably, he did not have a full license to operate a large scissor lift, unless accompanied by an already-licensed scissor lift operator. Which he was not.

I’m not sure what exactly I would use a forklift for in my current role. (I’m unemployed). But, shit, I do want to have fun while I’m working.

It has been fun. Working, I mean. Despite no steady income flowing, I have been able to weasel my way onto some interesting projects, which I’m hoping will lead to something else.

Like more projects. I’ve written a few episodes of a prospective web series, and I am likely to play one of the characters when it goes into production.

And, for those of you in the market for writing services, I am available for various writing assignment work, from press releases to web content, to marketing materials and case studies. Affordable rates! A better-than-most-eighth-graders’ command of the English language! Smart stuff, delivered in time. (contact: simon.eskow@gmail.com)

Holy crap. I just turned this blog post into an infomercial.

The great thing is I do have a few projects going. But I don’t have any projects that require me to drive a forklift or a scissors lift, without a license, and for no good reason.

So, please, remember me the next time you need a contractor, especially if I can have a crack at some kind of machinery that I am not qualified to use.

I welcome all assignments involving radial saws, jackhammers, or any equipment that could make me seem even slightly more masculine than I am.

Fire. I like fire.

Because even if I’m unemployed, I never want to be idle.